Communication Clauses: The Part of the Parenting Plan People Skip
A parenting schedule tells parents when the child is with each of them.
It does not necessarily explain how the parents will exchange school information, report a medical issue, respond to a request, communicate about an extracurricular activity or handle an urgent change.
That is where a communication clause can help.
A useful parenting plan does not need to dictate every conversation between separated parents. But it can establish enough structure that routine communication does not have to be renegotiated every week.
For Ontario families, the aim should be practical:
What information needs to move between the parents, how will it be communicated, and what happens when something is urgent?
Does an Ontario Parenting Plan Need a Communication Clause?
There is no rule requiring every parenting plan to contain a particular communication clause.
But communication is legally relevant.
Under Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act, one of the factors a court considers when determining a child's best interests is the ability and willingness of the people involved to communicate and cooperate with one another on matters affecting the child.
The legislation also recognizes rights to obtain information about the child's well-being, including health and education, subject to any applicable agreement, order or law.
Under the federal Divorce Act, a person with parenting time or decision-making responsibility is similarly entitled, unless a court orders otherwise, to request and receive information concerning the child's well-being.
A communication clause can turn those broad legal principles into a process parents can actually use.
What Should Parent-to-Parent Communication Cover?
A useful clause usually addresses three separate questions:
How will we communicate?
What do we need to communicate about?
How quickly is a response expected?
Those questions are more useful than a general statement that the parents will “communicate reasonably.”
1. Choose the Communication Method
Some parents communicate well by text.
Others prefer email because it keeps longer discussions organized.
Some use a parenting application with messaging, shared calendars or expense records.
There is no legal preference for one platform.
The best choice is usually the method that lets the parents exchange necessary information clearly and consistently without creating unnecessary conflict.
A parenting plan can also specify different methods for different situations.
For example, routine issues might be handled by email or through an app, while a medical emergency requires a phone call or text.
Are Co-Parenting Apps Required?
No.
A parenting app can be useful, particularly where ordinary texting has become disorganized or conflictual.
Features can include:
a record of messages;
shared calendars;
schedules;
expense tracking; and
storage of child-related information.
But an app is a tool, not a legal requirement.
For some parents, email works perfectly well.
For others, requiring another platform simply adds complexity.
The question is whether the chosen system makes child-related communication more manageable for this particular family.
Should Communication Be Limited to Issues About the Children?
Usually, a parenting clause should focus on parenting.
After separation, the parents' ongoing legal relationship concerning the children is different from their former relationship as a couple.
A clause may therefore state that communication through the designated parenting channel should relate to matters such as:
the child's health;
education;
activities;
schedule;
transportation;
travel;
important appointments;
changes affecting parenting time; and
other matters concerning the child's well-being.
This can be particularly helpful where conversations about routine parenting repeatedly turn into arguments about unresolved relationship issues.
The clause should not, however, prevent communication that is legitimately necessary to resolve another legal or financial issue.
Its purpose is to organize parenting communication, not create an artificial prohibition on every other necessary interaction.
Should the Parenting Plan Set a Response Time?
It can.
A defined response period can be useful where one parent frequently believes a matter is being ignored while the other does not consider it urgent.
But there is no Ontario rule requiring a response within 24 or 48 hours.
The appropriate timeframe depends on the issue.
A parenting plan might distinguish between:
Emergencies: immediate or prompt contact.
Time-sensitive decisions: a response within a defined shorter period.
Routine matters: a longer period, such as one or two days.
The wording should also recognize that sending a message does not automatically require the other parent to agree with the request.
A response deadline is about acknowledging and dealing with the issue.
It is not a deemed-consent rule unless the agreement specifically creates one—and clauses that treat silence as consent should be drafted carefully.
What Counts as an Emergency?
It can help to distinguish a genuine emergency from an ordinary parenting disagreement.
An emergency might involve an immediate health or safety concern, hospitalization, an accident or another event requiring prompt attention.
A disagreement about next month's extracurricular schedule is usually not an emergency simply because one parent wants an immediate answer.
The parenting plan can identify an urgent communication method, such as a telephone call followed by a written message.
That keeps routine communication in one place while ensuring important information is not left sitting unread in an email inbox.
What Information Should Parents Share?
Health and education are obvious examples, but information sharing can go further.
Depending on the family, the agreement may address:
school notices and report cards;
parent-teacher meetings;
medical and dental appointments;
prescriptions;
therapy or counselling;
extracurricular schedules;
significant incidents involving the child;
emergency contact information; and
changes to the child's contact information.
Ontario law also provides people with parenting time or decision-making responsibility with rights to request information concerning the child's well-being, including health and education, subject to applicable laws and court orders.
A plan can make that exchange more efficient by stating who sends what, how and when.
Does One Parent Have to Act as the Other Parent's Source of Information?
Not necessarily.
Both Ontario legislation and the Divorce Act can allow a person with parenting rights to request information directly from other people likely to have it, subject to applicable laws.
That can include information concerning health and education.
This distinction matters.
A communication clause should encourage appropriate information sharing between parents, but it does not necessarily mean one parent must become the other's administrative assistant.
Where appropriate, both parents can arrange their own access to school portals, healthcare information, activity schedules and other records.
How Should Parents Communicate About Decisions?
This depends partly on who has decision-making responsibility.
If important decisions are shared, the communication clause can explain how one parent raises a proposed decision, what information should be exchanged and how much time the other parent has to consider it.
For example, a proposal involving a change of school should normally be handled differently from an urgent medical decision.
The communication process should also fit the dispute-resolution clause.
If the parents share decision-making and cannot reach agreement, the parenting plan may provide for an appropriate family dispute-resolution process rather than allowing the disagreement to continue indefinitely.
Under the Divorce Act, parties to a proceeding have a duty, where appropriate, to try to resolve matters through a family dispute-resolution process. That qualification matters because such processes are not appropriate in every situation, including some cases involving family violence.
What About Communication Between the Child and the Other Parent?
This can also be addressed in the parenting plan.
Telephone calls, video calls and texting can help maintain the child's relationship with both parents.
But there is no universal rule that a child should have a nightly call during the other parent's parenting time.
A plan might provide that:
the child may contact either parent when they reasonably wish;
younger children have scheduled calls at appropriate intervals;
older children communicate more independently; or
the parents will facilitate reasonable telephone, text or video communication.
What works for a five-year-old may be completely inappropriate for a fifteen-year-old.
Should Calls With the Other Parent Be Private?
Often, allowing the child to communicate without unnecessary interference is appropriate.
But I would not make the original statement—
“neither parent will monitor or listen in”
—an absolute rule.
There may be circumstances where communication has to be supervised because of a court order, safety concern, the child's needs or another legitimate reason.
Ontario courts can specifically order a party to facilitate communication between a child and another person in a manner appropriate for the child.
A better clause focuses on allowing communication to occur without unnecessary interference, subject to any safety requirements, supervision conditions or court orders.
Should Parents Avoid Speaking Negatively About Each Other?
This is a common and useful topic for parenting plans, but it is not mandatory wording.
The underlying concern is child-focused.
A child should not have to absorb the parents' dispute or feel pressure to choose between them.
Under the Divorce Act, a party to a proceeding has a statutory duty, to the best of their ability, to protect a child of the marriage from conflict arising from the proceeding.
That does not mean parents must pretend every issue between them is resolved.
It means the child should not become the audience for the adult dispute.
Should the Parenting Plan Include a Non-Disparagement Clause?
It can.
A typical clause may say the parents will not make negative or derogatory comments about the other parent in the child's presence or encourage other people to do so.
The benefit is not that every inappropriate comment will produce an immediate legal remedy.
The provision establishes a clear expectation about keeping the child out of adult conflict.
But drafting matters.
A clause should not be written so broadly that it prevents a parent from:
speaking honestly with a lawyer;
obtaining counselling;
reporting a safety concern;
participating in a legal proceeding; or
responding appropriately where family violence or abuse is alleged.
The focus should be what the child is exposed to—not silencing legitimate adult communication elsewhere.
Should Children Be Used to Pass Messages?
Generally, this is exactly the kind of issue a communication clause can avoid.
A child should not have to tell one parent:
“Mom says you owe money.”
“Dad says you have to change Saturday.”
“Mom wants to know why you didn't answer.”
Parents have direct ways of communicating.
Using those channels allows the child to remain the child rather than becoming the family's messenger.
What About Shared Calendars?
A shared calendar can be useful where the child has a busy schedule.
It might record:
parenting time;
school events;
medical appointments;
practices and games;
lessons;
school holidays;
vacations; and
other important events.
But a calendar should supplement, rather than replace, communication where an issue actually requires a decision.
Putting “new school” on a shared calendar does not amount to consulting the other parent where school decisions are supposed to be made jointly.
The parenting plan can distinguish between sharing information and seeking agreement on a significant decision.
Can Communication Rules Be Different in High-Conflict Cases?
Yes.
The same communication structure will not work for every family.
Where direct communication repeatedly produces conflict, a more structured arrangement may specify:
one written channel;
child-related subjects only;
defined response periods;
limited non-urgent contact;
scheduled information exchanges; and
a separate process for disputes.
But communication clauses should also be drafted with family violence and safety concerns in mind.
A requirement for frequent direct discussion, immediate responses or in-person meetings may be inappropriate where there has been family violence or a significant power imbalance.
Does the Law Require Parents to “Co-Parent Well”?
No legislation can require former partners to have a friendly relationship.
But Ontario's best-interests framework does consider each person's ability and willingness to communicate and cooperate on matters affecting the child. It also considers each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent.
That does not require constant communication.
In some families, the most functional parenting arrangement involves relatively limited direct interaction.
The legal focus remains the child's best interests, including the child's safety, security and well-being.
What Should a Communication Clause Actually Say?
Depending on the family, useful provisions may address:
the primary communication method;
what subjects belong in that communication channel;
how emergencies are communicated;
expected response times for routine and urgent matters;
sharing school, health and extracurricular information;
access to school portals and professional records;
notifying the other parent about significant incidents;
how proposals requiring joint decision-making are raised;
parent-child telephone, video or text communication;
privacy or supervision of those communications where appropriate;
keeping the child out of adult disputes;
not using the child to carry messages;
avoiding negative comments about the other parent in the child's presence;
use of shared calendars; and
what happens when communication itself becomes a source of repeated disagreement.
Not every parenting plan needs all of these provisions.
The point is to identify where ambiguity is likely to create difficulty for this family.
Should the Agreement Require Parents to Be “Respectful”?
It can, but more specific language is often more useful.
“Communicate respectfully” is difficult to measure.
A practical clause might instead say that communications will:
relate to the child;
avoid insults or threats;
contain the information needed to address the issue;
be sent through the agreed communication method; and
receive a response within the agreed timeframe where a response is required.
That gives parents a clearer standard than simply telling them to be reasonable.
Does Parental Conflict Affect Children?
Research supports taking ongoing interparental conflict seriously.
Reviews published by Justice Canada have identified persistent high conflict between parents as an important risk factor for children's behavioural, emotional and social adjustment following separation.
But I would not state the conclusion as:
“Conflict is more damaging to children than separation itself.”
That is too broad.
Children's adjustment after separation is affected by multiple factors, including conflict, stability, relationships with parents, changes in living circumstances and the child's individual characteristics. Justice Canada's research reviews describe interparental conflict as a significant risk factor rather than reducing children's outcomes to one universal comparison.
The legal framework reflects the same concern.
The Divorce Act expressly requires parties to a proceeding, to the best of their ability, to protect their children from conflict arising from that proceeding.
Should the Communication Clause Change as Children Get Older?
Possibly.
A communication arrangement created for young children may become unnecessary or intrusive as they become teenagers.
Older children may manage much of their own communication with each parent.
They may also have access to their own school calendars, phones and activity schedules.
The parents will still need to communicate about significant decisions and other matters for which they remain responsible.
But the parenting plan can recognize that the child's increasing independence may change how communication works.
This is another reason a parenting plan should be capable of being reviewed when the child's circumstances materially change.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should separated parents communicate by text, email or a parenting app?
There is no required method. The best option is the one that allows necessary child-related information to be exchanged reliably while reducing unnecessary conflict.
Can an Ontario parenting plan require a response within 24 or 48 hours?
Yes, parents can agree to response periods, but there is no universal statutory 24- or 48-hour rule. The timeframe should fit the type of communication.
Does a parent have a right to information about the child's school and health?
Generally, a person with parenting time or decision-making responsibility has statutory information rights, subject to applicable legislation, agreements and court orders.
Should children have phone calls with the other parent during parenting time?
They can. The frequency and method should reflect the child's age, needs and preferences rather than assuming every child needs a scheduled daily call.
Can a parenting plan prohibit parents from criticizing each other?
It can include a non-disparagement provision focused on protecting the child from negative comments and adult conversations.
Should children carry messages between separated parents?
Generally, no. Children should be kept out of adult conflict and must not be used to carry messages to the other parent.
Do parents have to communicate directly if there has been family violence?
Not necessarily. Parenting and dispute-resolution arrangements should account for safety, family violence and power imbalances. Ordinary cooperative co-parenting approaches may not be appropriate in every case.
Can communication arrangements be changed later?
Yes. As children grow and circumstances change, the parents may agree that a different communication structure works better. Formal parenting agreements or orders may need to be updated where appropriate.
Put the Communication Rules in Writing Before You Need Them
A parenting plan should not assume that good communication will simply happen.
It can establish a workable process for sharing information, raising decisions, dealing with emergencies and allowing children to maintain appropriate contact with both parents.
The goal is not more communication. It is clearer communication about the things that actually affect the child.
If you are preparing for separation or divorce, Willing Law's Divorce Guide and Separation Checklist can help you organize the parenting, financial, property and practical issues that may need to be addressed.
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This article provides general legal information only and is not legal advice. Reading it does not create a solicitor-client relationship.
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